brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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