I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
