and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
