ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
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