he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize