Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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