Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
