I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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