My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
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This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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