Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
