Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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