you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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