You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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