it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
