Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
