Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
