Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
