The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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