Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
