Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(956): View more from Texas

im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.

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(813): View more from Florida

watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide

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(704): View more from North Carolina

The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.

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(716): View more from New York

You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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(773): View more from Illinois

I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.

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(478): View more from Georgia

Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.

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