part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
