If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.