Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(940): View more from Texas

I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.

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(940): I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night. http://tfl.nu/ldko

Replies (16) Good night (982) Bad night (3672)
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(702): View more from Nevada

She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.

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(702): She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed. http://tfl.nu/1h0x

Replies (10) Good night (3477) Bad night (1025)
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(360): View more from Washington

Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day

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(360): Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day http://tfl.nu/ig75

Replies (16) Good night (4250) Bad night (922)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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(252): its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get http://tfl.nu/sb3f

Replies (18) Good night (1359) Bad night (4114)
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(540): View more from Virginia

we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.

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(540): we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate. http://tfl.nu/t1ac

Replies (7) Good night (3832) Bad night (1904)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.

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(608): I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP. http://tfl.nu/f5ki

Replies (3) Good night (3353) Bad night (873)
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(817): View more from Texas

but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head

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(817): but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head http://tfl.nu/vzhl

Replies (5) Good night (874) Bad night (2578)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.

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(720): Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from. http://tfl.nu/0y1z

Replies (4) Good night (1422) Bad night (634)
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(703): View more from Virginia

You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".

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(703): You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick". http://tfl.nu/ootc

Replies (6) Good night (2372) Bad night (683)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

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(859): well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS http://tfl.nu/hivl

Replies (4) Good night (1352) Bad night (617)
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(718): View more from New York

this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican

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(718): this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican http://tfl.nu/utxh

Replies (27) Good night (658) Bad night (1604)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.

(901): View more from Tennessee

But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.

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(901): I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes. (901): But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes. http://tfl.nu/ipaj

Replies (4) Good night (1106) Bad night (424)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status

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(308): Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status http://tfl.nu/i9jh

Replies (0) Good night (660) Bad night (404)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Are you still free tonight?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid

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(508): Are you still free tonight? (1-508): Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid http://tfl.nu/yjum

Replies (2) Good night (1186) Bad night (438)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.

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(919): He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well. http://tfl.nu/lw4a

Replies (2) Good night (409) Bad night (1157)

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