Texts From Last Night

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  (858): View more from California

  Umm I'm too high to move.

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  (858): Umm I'm too high to move. http://tfl.nu/ye5s
  Replies (7) Good night (1671) Bad night (567)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

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  (630): you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car. http://tfl.nu/fzr7
  Replies (18) Good night (5657) Bad night (746)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

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  (601): hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow? http://tfl.nu/vvua
  Replies (124) Good night (6355) Bad night (2377)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

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  (780): Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube. http://tfl.nu/uqzu
  Replies (35) Good night (1265) Bad night (5544)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.

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  (405): I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm. http://tfl.nu/yhbb
  Replies (58) Good night (3086) Bad night (532)
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  (310): View more from California

  I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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  (310): I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/dkfu
  Replies (15) Good night (3775) Bad night (640)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her

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  (414): i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her http://tfl.nu/iw7s
  Replies (13) Good night (1381) Bad night (4084)
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  (951): View more from California

  my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.

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  (951): my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands. http://tfl.nu/553v
  Replies (21) Good night (4412) Bad night (1114)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life

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  (203): chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life http://tfl.nu/2ek4
  Replies (12) Good night (866) Bad night (6083)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.

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  (757): you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof. http://tfl.nu/pdha
  Replies (11) Good night (2631) Bad night (686)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels

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  (803): He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels http://tfl.nu/4za8
  Replies (9) Good night (661) Bad night (1644)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.

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  (319): You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks. http://tfl.nu/1rw7
  Replies (5) Good night (1286) Bad night (733)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  ok thanks goodnight

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person

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  (905): ok thanks goodnight (905): Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person http://tfl.nu/fu6q
  Replies (4) Good night (865) Bad night (284)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings

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  (814): Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings http://tfl.nu/8ytt
  Replies (0) Good night (352) Bad night (195)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?

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  (516): Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles? http://tfl.nu/3kx7
  Replies (2) Good night (188) Bad night (452)

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