Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
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I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
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she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine