508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
MIDGETS
????
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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