Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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