worst night to have a conscience
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
