he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
