Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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