suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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