I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
