My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
