Fine. I'll sleep in my office
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
