and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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