My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
