Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
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I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
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It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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