she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
