he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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