You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
