Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
