True but thats because hes a fetus.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
