She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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