Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
im six kinds of drunk right now
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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