i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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