dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
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The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright