Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.

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(650): Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not. http://tfl.nu/h9ye

Replies (7) Good night (2281) Bad night (538)
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(831): View more from California

I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.

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(831): I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco. http://tfl.nu/qnto

Replies (34) Good night (3382) Bad night (562)
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(219): View more from Indiana

I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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(219): I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate? http://tfl.nu/53jf

Replies (15) Good night (5790) Bad night (896)
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(619): View more from California

I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.

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(619): I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong. http://tfl.nu/qtfu

Replies (11) Good night (3520) Bad night (1480)
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(972): View more from Texas

Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.

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(972): Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food. http://tfl.nu/9e1d

Replies (13) Good night (1284) Bad night (3126)
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(703): View more from Virginia

I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.

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(703): I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college. http://tfl.nu/rorl

Replies (29) Good night (3908) Bad night (1403)
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(845): View more from New York

I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.

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(845): I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard. http://tfl.nu/kj6h

Replies (31) Good night (6823) Bad night (1275)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...

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(203): Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night... http://tfl.nu/4ooo

Replies (7) Good night (1125) Bad night (4700)
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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina

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(856): i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina http://tfl.nu/7m3b

Replies (22) Good night (951) Bad night (5201)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.

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(715): I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk. http://tfl.nu/px56

Replies (7) Good night (2262) Bad night (960)
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(720): View more from Colorado

Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.

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(720): Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober. http://tfl.nu/o1fz

Replies (1) Good night (1085) Bad night (505)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.

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(908): Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud. http://tfl.nu/9hne

Replies (1) Good night (983) Bad night (388)
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(727): View more from Florida

Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.

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(727): Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension. http://tfl.nu/xvwt

Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (298)
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(914): View more from New York

If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude

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(914): If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude http://tfl.nu/4fbw

Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (307)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.

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(501): Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys. http://tfl.nu/a792

Replies (3) Good night (1140) Bad night (383)

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