You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
