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is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
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