I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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