I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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