I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
