I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
