Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
