i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
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I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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