I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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