Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
