Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I could fuck to npr.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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