Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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