so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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