If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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