I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
