I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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