Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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