And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
